the four right chords can make me cry

the good
i really had a wonderful time at our CG gathering =) i can't explain it, it was simple and profound, the kind of happiness and contentment.
supper and the kindness of tianen and kel. hope everything is alright and sorted out.
the only one who smsed me, has been keeping in touch with me, so cheerful and thoughful.
the simple dinner and company of a friend. our openness and ability to share about belief. the work that is going on in his life.
my last proper bath for the next 17 days. the forecast for when we land is max 41 min 29. degrees celcius. my mind can't comprehend how hot that is.

the bad
should have seen it coming. it happens every time. so angry and frustrated. i wanted to scream until you finally heard me. i wanted to hit you until you'd listen. but my voice gave out and i ran out of things to throw. a long time ago. it's too late, i decided then that i would never let you in.
i'm hurt. and i feel like a miserable person.
and a separate matter has been gnawing away at my heart. the distance and the silence between us, the sheer bad timing. where do i stand now? where do i deserve to stand?

need to pack.

posted by beckyboo @ 11:17 PM